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Insanity

I had 60 seconds of insanity                         I made the best thing in my life go away   I had 60 seconds of insanity                         I went and broke up with my flaws             And now they dont want me back             My heart has gone to war against me.

 

 

Broken

She learnt how to tune out…She sits by him, exhausted, spent, broken, physically and emotionally. She has to clean up the mess he has made, he has thrown up all over the floor.

She spent hours cleaning, the floors he insist must sparkle, look at him, he is a mess, he stinks from all the gore and she is amazed at how fast she learnt how to tune out his slur.

It’s loud, it’s so annoyingly loud, she could choke him right now but she cleans him up and puts him in bed.

There is a pain reliever on the bedside table, it will wake up his tired muscles in the morning, maybe he will have enough energy to break more bones. Her jaw is yet to heal so she prays he is knocked out till the next day, she will have time to prepare for the next round.

She wonders if those arms that have dealt her so many blows will ever reach out to hold her. It’s cold in her world, it’s bloody the measure of pain she has had. Her warrior stance is shaken, there is no soul,no hope, no strength for her to draw from.

Does this story get better? Is there a silver lining? I wonder. But this is what society has turned her into. No she can’t leave, she is supposed to stay after-all a woman’s place is in man’s house, remember that. What is she with her degrees, if she doesn’t have a ring on her finger? A woman’s crowning glory is her children, she must birth his children even if she dies before she gets the chance.

FORGIVENESS

“Until we have seen someone’s darkness we don’t really know who they are, until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is”- Marinne Williamson

Do you ever go through a situation with someone and you say to yourself wow! I really thought our love will protect us from this ever happening. Because we never prepare for bad moments, its not in our DNA to expect the worst. And sometimes this fights happen and all you want to do is let the person in on why you are pissed but they may just focus on sounding “intelligent”. A little advice, those are the people to avoid having confrontations with for the sake of your sanity.  

They say everything is forgivable, I don’t know about that but I do know it is a process worth going through.

EMPATHY

EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY

Would you rather someone empathize or sympathize with you, was a question someone asked me after I had told the person I had a fight with a friend who was more concerned with making me looking stupid than actually listening, and without a blink I said empathy, I prefer that.

Empathy to me is a higher emotion, because you get to put yourself in someone’s shoes. Sympathy is too easy, its makes you too powerful and detached.

If Jack walks down the road and sees a lady been molested by a man she can’t fight and he feels for her,and says oh! What a pity! He is sympathetic but how has that helped the lady, but imagine he sees the scenario and Jill his sister flashes before his eyes,he has placed himself in that situation and he would rescue the lady.

We live in the selfish age, people want to get ahead without a care of the people they trample on, and do not expect loyalty, it is too high a price for people to pay so we become coldhearted even to those who were always there for us but remember “true empathy requires that you step outside your own emotions to view things entirely different from the perspective of the other person”.

DISEASE

DISEASE

Look at me trying to run from my bad habits

While my feet are stuck by them

My disease is quite obvious

I love wild nights, alcohol and the smokes

Those are my drugs

I have these constant battles, days of withdrawals and cravings

So intense my fingers tremble then I go back for the hunt

What a disease, its eating away at me.

A LITTLE DOSE
You wouldn’t believe my life’s story if I told you
You see what I choose to show
But today I promise you a dose of honesty
But can you handle the truth if it looked you in the eye?
If I told you about the hunger or the pain in my back
Long hours hunching over a table, trying to put word to paper
So my pen can know what it feels like to run dry
I am a little dry in this moment, you can’t tell
How do you feel in this moment?
I feel a struggle between my dreams and fear
Iam drowning a little bit here, in my own words.
I feel suffocated
You couldn’t handle this truth,I promise you.